began the day with this pose. worked a whole day inside, a 10-6 shift. shocked the sun had slipped under the horizon when i went outside, my skin so used to the rhythm of the light. wondering how something as unnatural as working indoors for hours became standard, became accepted.
in the darkness of the evening under the full of the moon, a part of me was hurting. instincts wanted to cut away this part, to not feel what it wanted to express as intense pain in the center of my chest. a deep desire to cease struggling against myself, my own nature. the truth of who i am. the bursting out to a new level. desire for true liberation. the process which follows this intent.
in awareness that love, unlike other things, cannot be earned. no matter what i do or do not do, regardless to the degree of which i am devoted, open minded, moral, attractive, spiritual or intelligent, it does not secure an outcome of love. it does not merit love as a reward, or another's committed heart. it does not guarantee a future or success or a clear path. love cannot be approached with any goal other than it.
having fresh memories of the unreliability of other people's word, the unreliability of sacrificing myself so that another may succeed, the ease of which i deny myself, i felt that all i had done, demonstrated and gave up would yield me what i desire most. alas. pushing fresh up against this idea i created, operated from, causes pain. if the truth hurts, it is because the lies were so easy to believe.
peeling. pleading. pain. progress. persevere.
http://www.writespirit.net/spirituality/spiritual_masters/a_liberated_soul_vs__a_god-realised_master
A Liberated Soul vs. A God-Realised Master
The following excerpt was taken from "The Summits of God-Life: Samadhi and Siddhi" by Sri Chinmoy.
The world has seen thousands and thousands of liberated souls, but not all liberated souls work in the world of ignorance. Many are afraid that ignorance will threaten them and try to devour them. One who is just liberated has come out of the room which is full of darkness, but this does not necessarily mean he is truly qualified to be a spiritual guide. To be a spiritual guide in the highest sense of the term, one must be commissioned by the Supreme. One may have spiritual knowledge, spiritual power and so forth, but if he is not authorised by the Highest to guide humanity, he cannot be a real spiritual Master.
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