worked 3 jobs today, 9am - 2am:
watered the garden & tended to the animals. it felt good to be in the sunlight so early with the scent of wet soil, the birds singing hidden in the trees. went downtown to run a store, dead all day until the last hour, sold beyond the sales goal, spent the rest of my time listening to "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" & knitted a green leaf.
tucked meditation in between jobs at the park; the grass beneath, a tree behind me. it felt wonderful to be outside to release & connect to actual earth amidst the soccer players, kite fliers, people waiting for the ice rink to open. refreshed & readied to begin the next phase:
food truck with the fire breathing chicken outside a music venue; i pushed the handmade waffles & fresh fries & veggie burgers. music fans & lovely drunks populating the scene, chatting them up closing degrees of separation over conversation making new friends, making change & making small talk. i remarked to myself how much i do love people; everyone has something good to give.
the lulls were filled with relationship & sex talk. i realized i feel a little unsafe being single sometimes, second guessing platonic relations with men, triple checking their motives, constantly clearing the channel & enacting self-restraint. inside is a sense that i am a sacred flower, i belong in the garden of one who knows how to handle, cherish, grow.
getting deep in freedom, knowing myself, holding my own.
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