Thursday, December 23, 2010

the standing still sun of winter, 2010



slept in: held close, skin warm, thorough & innocent cuddling. long stretch of time from bed to breakfast to bounding out the door into Texas midwinter. December solstice felt like June reaching 80 on the thermometer. i played flute for the sky & napped on a patch of grass, my body tricked into guessing which season it was. all references of weather flipped; sweaters on hold, patterns inside out & flip flops on near the end of the year.

a walk along the bayou was red gold trees with strong sun between the branches. the water moved evenly opaque swamp green giving no clue to it's lurking depth. we sat on a plaid blanket in an autumnal yellow brown orange crunching leaves with our feets while eating Belgian chocolate with candied ginger. i attempted to suck the sweet but the animal in my jaws wanted to chew. i ate both ways, alternating jagged squares of chocolate to be devoured in seconds or to melt on my tongue until only the bits of ginger remained.

we assessed the past & summed the current lessons:

always have a plan b

trust myself

discretion

talked from before sunset until the moon shone bold like a bright ovary in the sky. spent solstice time with the Love family, drumming under live oaks in the fairly park where Anandaji asked Merciful to marry him. the 2 babies present waddle walked to different trees & open places, communicating in their own language of smiles & syllables. we ate coconut shreds & OM toned chakras clear. i hugged the biggest tree goodbye past 9pm as i trekked to my first night tango dancing!

i was invited to go & nervous first timer tried to wiggle out of it though curiously compelled. i tried to evade the engagement but when the excuse of not having dancing shoes came up, Joy pulled one of her pairs from the collection, hidden in a silky red bag. they fit perfectly from toe to heel. i imagined this is what Cinderella felt when the shoe was put on - the feeling of rightness, a perfect moment. i wore my short black dance dress with cinched shiny leggings & discovered the tango.

the most profound advice i was given on this dance: "each person holds their own balance. when i let go, my partner can stand on their own". i instantly imagined planets dancing with one another, even though together & mingling each with their own gravity, each contributing their stability; interacting & moving unexpectedly with that sense of grounding, sturdy inner resource threading through the improvisation.

my favorite dance was with Sarah: ultra short platinum blond hair, jeans & casual sneakers, been dancing for years. we were probably the most opposite couple on the floor in experience, appearance, apparel and same sex. she led; my part was to allow, to flow, to not know what was next & to respond to it in the moment. nearly the same height, we danced chest to chest, my forehead against her temple. my hips pivoted in & out of the spaces she made with her legs. our tango moved slowly across the floor with busts of momentum, connected to ourselves, the music & each other. i left the tanda feeling in love!

left the tango at midnight. responding to Henry wanting ice cream, we decided to go home & make smoothies. the vitamix turned out a creamy banana apple almond butter chocolate protein rice milk goat milk yogurt blueberry smoothie! deliciousness.

the night ended with a lullaby serenade in bed, acoustic guitar improv to bookend the day nestled into the sheets to sleep snugged into each other like puzzle pieces.





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