these present moments of ambiguity & rest are demanding; so easy for me to skim past these slow periods to push into productivity & success. but this is the time of gathering, a regrouping of will & intention. to settle where i find myself. to feel at home even when i have one suitcase and none of the decor is mine. to cease to achieve. to daydream.
and i briefly wondered how long this phase will last? but something seems to switch silently, and then it's all action. thus, determined to relish the lull that is upon!
spent an afternoon in the garden stripping purple pea plants off the trellises & sowing snowpeas to grow for the season. ate gooey queso blanco poblano rice with bright green brussels sprouts. took a meditation break when the sun went down & fingers were cold with the weather. i made many requests during the pose: a desire to balance between breaking free with responsibility, to allow a fresh start in a place where already so much history has established itself. to experience ease of transition, support, softness. a shiver moved through my spine out shoulders down through arms. immense power in being still, mindful of the moment.
a late night business meeting yielded meaningful insights & results, birthing the new endeavor thoughtfully in every way. weighing, washing, scribbling notes, rubber gloves, chopping & cleaning up well into the early morning. a surprise new Trek & initiation bike ride after 4am, cold thighs & small winding streets so much like the east coast i knew. frost sparkling the grass along the bayou. i lost all sense of direction & time; none of the roads seemed Houston with overgrown trees, clutterings of condos next to old homes. string lights, secret gardens & seeing in through windows the things people own, if they were still awake so late. the tires worked the terrain and shocks over potholes superb, the smoothest ride down the dark & quiet streets.
i was awake to see the dawn of the next day. the bed has remained bare and does not call me. there is an energy that compels me to push though a place that has been stuck. my motivation is plain, simple.
it's time.
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