a day of silence, a night of music; insulated with meditation, ease & challenges in succession.
the pose difficult today with left leg up in half lotus was pain, stiffness, discomfort. this leg switch was necessary despite old school yoga holding to right leg on top, always. effort to relax and refocus, these tensions stored in tissues slowly squeezed from their hiding places. breath staccato skipping seconds as if scooping deep, shoveling stagnant debris and sputtering on the density of it. afterward, laid down and fell asleep. was awakened hearing my own name called, and, sitting up, realized the sound was from inside.
last day of temp job was as fast as 8 hours could be, dancing to music in my black ruched salsa dress and pink pashmina, green smoothies & good chats with customers, this day the highest selling day. connected to deep silence unexpectedly at different intervals, feeling the silence begin to penetrate and expand in my field, dropping into that state quickly and emerging steadily out of it; a sensation of building a pathway from ordinary consciousness to a profound place. not the ideal location to lapse into these states, jolting myself out of it a few times thinking someone may have entered the store. overall, a process i am happy is happening.
so close yet so much still to go. continuing to detach, to unclutch with one hand, allow on the other. and each action looks the same. on another level, i see even the most well meaning of people can choose darkness, and it's my choice as to how close in proximity i shall allow myself to be to it. letting the energy cook out each layer and rise, reminding myself constantly what it is i am choosing for myself, who it is that i am. i am not swayed as i used to be swayed, i do not want what i used to want; these both are blessed upgrades.
No comments:
Post a Comment