the cao chin experience

one of the most unique Houston-only adventures to be had is to make a visit to Cao Chin.

a noted psychic Buddhist monk, Uncle Chin works out of a strip mall in Chinatown. every morning people line up to reserve a spot on his list. coming 6am could mean you will be seen anywhere from 8am, noon or later depending on how many people turn out. his services are conducted on a donation basis; people typically bring gifts of food, flowers and money. the session can be any length of time. on this day, people seemed to be with him for an average of 10 minutes.

my first visit was nearly 6 years ago, one of the very first things i did while getting to know Houston. the memory of the session was vague. i recall him flossing in between throwing out playing cards on the table between us on the floor & that everything he told me about myself didn't happen, but what he told me about my parents did.

late last night a friend casually asked if i wanted to see him the following morning. i agreed to go without agenda or any questions i wanted answered. the only sacrifice was to lay down early in order to wake up in the morning before sun up. i took it as a challenge, to fall & rise with the fire element.

waking 5 in the morning is like a holiday - an infrequent event, and thus, filled with freshness. the energy was palpable. the feeling was an overwhelming specialness - just to be alive, to be with eyes open before the sun wakes up the earth with warm pouring upon everything.

we stopped by Cao Chin's to get our number in line & left to breakfast at the nearest spot. i loved seeing the morning flow of life - people concerned about coffee & watching news streams from the tv screens, gathered around tables inside & outside drinking chilled beverages with big straws, smoking, talking, smiling. all in languages other than english. and i love eating food that i have no idea what it is, especially when i have to use a knife to access it. i asked twice if it had any meat in it, and was thrilled to unwrap whatever was underneath the dried palm leaf, no matter how bland.

Uncle Chin's reception area is a cramped space with chairs set at even intervals for sitting, waiting. shelves of books & an altar of Kuan Yin's, Lakshmi's, Dalai Llama's & Buddhas. pictures on the wall of famous people who have seen him, accolades from the city, framed newspaper articles and other spiritual leaders like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

when the bell rang and it was time for #29 to enter the room, i got up & walked over to Cao Chin's private space. i had a small cake from the Chinese bakery to hand him when i saw him, and a small yellow rose from Judy's garden. i stood at the threshold as he slurped soup quickly with a wide spoon. a room filled with spiritual effects & gifts. he motioned me over and i took a seat on the oriental rug facing him across a wooden table.

the first thing he asserts with his authoritative voice:

"WHERE IS YOUR MAN?!"

"um, i don't have one."

he slams his hand with an open palm: "Don't Tell Me That, Yes You Do! You Have A Man and He Is Running Away!"

i was pure stunned.

"In April, God will send you a man, but please, don't scare him away!"

here, i had to interject. "what exactly do you mean by 'scaring away'?"

"Sometimes you kind, sometimes you talk too much, sometimes you quiet, sometimes you excited..." the rest was garbled.

i instantly felt sick. angry. hot. i knew i was triggered. whether or not he was in touch with my reality, he was hitting something that hurt inside. but i moved it over to be present, to scribble down scraps of oracle through his thick accent & my nervous hands.

"Can you do one thing for God? STOP WORRYING. God has been good to you. You are very smart. You work hard. You love your family. Pray for your family more. You are too independent. No traveling in May. You talk to much, ca ca ca ca ca ca ca"

at some point, he looked up and said "I TOLD HER ALREADY!"

"God has a PLAN for you. Work in humanitarian work. Listen More. How can GOD help if you don't listen? Oh, And Let Go Of That Monkey In Your Hair That Says "I Don't Have Enough Money!"

he asked a few times if i had any questions. i was too shocked or empty to even think. i didn't come for answers and what questions i may have had were already responded to.

i left his room feeling enormous heat, sadness. regardless if whatever spoken be truth or untruth, i reacted strongly. the need to cry was making it's way to the surface, a stewing rumbling in my stomach. i went outside for air, space. i raised my hands up over my head to release everything i was feeling into the GodHead chakra. sick, mad, disappointed, abandoned, failure. let it go, let it go, let it go. i approached these feelings unopposed to them. i felt how much i needed to be a friend to them, to nurture the Self in there burdened with these heavy pains i didn't realize were lodged inside, unseen until provoked from their hiding places.

of course this happens after my new year's resolution to smile more often. i pushed myself to do this, and smiling to myself actually did make me feel better.

i reviewed everything he said that i could remember. and the one thing i was left with is God is very Giving.

life is much more malleable than it seems. there is a plan, there is free will and therefore nothing is supposed to happen or not happen. life itself is pliable. i am happy to continue to play, to look at lost roads with a light heart & know that very often what is delivered to me in my experience tends to exceed my dreams or expectations. botched opportunities can be chalked up to lesson learned, good thing i'm a quick study.

thank you big G for tolerating my fuck ups! i'm ready for what you got planned ;)