new year's eve was beautiful & sweet:
dancing, sauna, fresh cold air & icy stars, everything i wanted to eat
(pineapple, clementines, chocolate, greens, home made mac & cheese)
i wore a mink and a mini dress and danced despite my back
bindi & cold bare legs, wrapped with shimmering tinsel tendrils
and naked in the steam room oil rubbed & OMing off the walls
and screaming out all the names of people we loved before the countdown in a huge hug puddle that i was in the center of:
I LOVE YOU MOM I LOVE YOU DAD I LOVE YOU SUNSHINE I LOVE YOU CHERYL I LOVE YOU DAIVI I LOVE YOU BRIAN I LOVE YOU WILLIAM I LOVE YOU FAITH I LOVE YOU JOHN I LOVE YOU SORANGE I LOVE YOU CHRISTY I LOVE YOU BONNIE I LOVE YOU BRANDON I LOVE YOU MARANDA I LOVE YOU MARY JANE I LOVE YOU KATY I LOVE YOU PEACH I LOVE YOU AMORA I LOVE YOU GURUJI I LOVE YOU MERCIFUL I LOVE YOU KAI I LOVE YOU ANANDAJI I LOVE YOU MATT I LOVE YOU JOY I LOVE YOU C I LOVE YOU RAMA PEACE I LOVE YOU ADAM I LOVE YOU BIPLAB I LOVE YOU MARY I LOVE YOU JENNIFER I LOVE YOU MELISSA I LOVE YOU ZOEY I LOVE YOU KAYA I LOVE YOU KERI I LOVE YOU KOURTNEY I LOVE YOU BRUCE I LOVE YOU BETH I LOVE YOU CALIN I LOVE YOU PAOLA I LOVE YOU YESHUA I LOVE YOU JEAN I LOVE YOU BROOKS I LOVE YOU ISABELLA I LOVE YOU LUNA I LOVE YOU AARON I LOVE YOU OLIVIA I LOVE YOU LORRAINE I LOVE YOU SARAH I LOVE YOU JUDY I LOVE YOU AMANDA I LOVE YOU THOM I LOVE YOU CARL I LOVE YOU AMON I LOVE YOU HENRY I LOVE YOU LOVE I LOVE YOU BIOLOGICAL FAMILY I LOVE YOU GAMELAN I LOVE YOU DANCE FAMILY I LOVE YOU HUNTSVILLE I LOVE YOU TEXAS, I LOVE YOU EARTH...
an endless love chant filled with the force of our hearts. i loved hearing my name intermittently between shouts of love, the names we all called formed a sonorous spiral as we laced arms and began to count backwards from 10 - the feeling i had when 2011 came in was that it was going to EXPLODE with AWESOME!
we toasted with pomegranate juice & danced deep into the night, the music moved us into patterns of rhythm. danced to stay warm. the wood floor was smooth as i found where i could go, the limits of my movement, happy that i could express this energy through dance that only days ago immobile & could not. hair flipping & singing songs to each other; never did i imagine i would dance to The Way We Were, and she who i danced with would sing to me all of the words. or that i would sing Memory back to her. or that after these songs i would hear M.I.A. & MGMT and throw down unlikely dance moves as hard as i could, laughing & yelping from the spontaneity of movement.
the 1st was bright sun & cedar smoke from the fire, tree stumps for seats to soak in the sun of the new year, trampoline laughter & frankincense moving through all rooms. i did a stint in the steam room again to relax my back & laid down afterward, 3 women in a soft bed surrounded by citrus with the bay door open wide blowing in crisp air & ambient light.
in the ecstasy of the new year, i forgot to make any resolutions! but one was sprung organically - as i had passed a glass case, i spied my reflection & noticed my face did not reflect how i felt. i looked slightly serious. in that moment i decided to smile as much as possible everyday, without cause. this may be easier for me as i have been laughing so much these days.
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